Whenever I go out, I never really know how I’m going to be perceived. Yes, I am nationally American, but nowhere near the stereotypical image of what an American should be. My hair is thick and curly and my skin is brown, constantly exposing my Mexican ethnicity. Sometimes I’m asked by servers or store workers if I’m American, mostly if I’m speaking English. That seems like it might be the default assumption, but I’ve also been asked if I’m from other nationalities. Twice even taxi drivers have spoken to me in Kazakh, which was unexpected.
Navigating my ethnic identity in the United States has been hard enough for me throughout my life, especially as a child of immigrant parents, but I was not really prepared for what it would be like to live as a Mexican-American abroad. I was scared of feeling alienated, of not being able to connect with my language and taste the foods of my family. Ironically, the past weeks in Almaty have probably made me feel more connected with my roots than ever. This has been perhaps the biggest surprise of the program.
In a prior blog, I talked about using social media to find spaces where I felt like I really belonged. Prior to traveling to Almaty, something I did frequently was search for “Mexicans in Almaty.” Of course, there were constantly little-to-no results. I, at one point, began looking for Mexican restaurants on Google Maps. I quickly became excited when I found one that, according to the reviews and pictures, was run by a Mexican owner/chef. I dreamed about meeting the chef and going to the restaurant with one other participant I didn’t know at all apart from the knowledge that they were also of Mexican heritage.
Every Tuesday afternoon, I share space with my friends for Taco Tuesdays at El Mexicano, run by Angel and his wife Julia. Everything feels right when I enter the restaurant. I speak in Spanish, learn about Angel’s life as a Mexican immigrant to Kazakhstan, and simply have a good meal that reminds me of home. It is also one of the only places where I know I can have genuinely spicy foods, which I didn’t imagine was going to be as difficult as it is (I miss Hot Cheetos).
Being Mexican in Kazakhstan has been, for me, realizing that no matter what I’m perceived as, I know I am Mexican. I find home in talking with my friend in RusSpanEnglish. I find a home in multicultural Almaty, which reminds me that migration and diaspora are worldwide experiences. As the program winds down, I know I’m going to miss my weekly Tuesdays and the space that El Mexicano has provided for me. I’m eternally grateful to Angel and Julia for allowing me to interview them for my final video project in collaboration with my fellow Mexican-American friend, and of course, for the beautiful restaurant they’ve built. I know that if I return to Almaty, I will have a home there.
Mariluz Tejeda Leon
Fulbright-Hays Fellowship Recipient
Advanced Russian Language and Area Studies Program
Almaty, Kazakhstan, Summer 2023